Several years ago, when I was on Twitter, I saw this happening on my timeline. Blogger A had unfollowed Blogger B on Twitter. Somehow Blogger B found out about it and confronted Blogger A on Twitter, asking her why B had unfollowed her. As I follow these two bloggers, I could read their conversation on my timeline. Now this could go badly; there could be a fight on Twitter just because someone has unfollowed the other person and said person found out about it. Blogger A was polite but frank as she explained. Thankfully Blogger B was very grown up about it and accepted it as no big deal.
Like I said, it could have gone really badly while people like me read conversations like this on the outside munching popcorn and see how it could blow up. 😛
The thing is, this short conversation exchange happened years ago. Yet it never left my mind because it really got me thinking: would you care if someone unfollowed you on social media/blog/mailing list? But more importantly, why would you even want to know if someone has unfollowed you or not?
Mailing list platforms like Feedblitz, Mailchimp, Aweber, Infusion Soft and more have the option to turn unsubscribe notices on or off. At first, I didn’t know about this and each time I received an email telling me that so-and-so has unsubscribed from my blog, it hurt. It hurt even more when it’s someone I knew or someone who has followed me for a long time and have decided not to anymore. I was confused; did I do something wrong? Were my last few posts so bad that these people don’t want to continue reading my blog anymore, something that I’ve put my heart and soul into?
This went on for quite some time and while I received unsubscribe notifications sporadically, it still stung. When I found out that I could turn the unsubscribe notification off, I jumped on it. From then on, any services that has the unsubscribe notification option that I use, I’d turn it off. I know that I’ve had people unsubscribe from my blog because the figures don’t lie. But I wasn’t receiving notifications of every unsubscribe and it lifted a burden off my shoulders.
And then there’s the thing about unfollow apps. Do you know that there are tools and apps out there that can tell you who has unfollowed you on social media? This is something I can’t wrap my head around. Why would you even want an app like that? So what if someone has unfollowed you on social media? Why do you need to know? There are some who say “well, I only want to follow those who follow me and are interested in what I have to say“. Well, to that I say to each his/her own. What if it’s someone you know personally and that person has unfollowed you on social media? Is it really that big a deal if you’re still friends but he/she doesn’t follow you on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/whatever?
I’ve followed and unfollowed and re-followed people on social media many times. Sometimes there are things that are said that don’t resonate with me at all and rather than continuing to read what I don’t like, I’d either unfollow them or turn the mute button on on them. It’s not that I don’t like the person; I just didn’t like what was said. Rather than getting sucked into disagreeable conversations, I’d rather take myself out of the situation altogether and not see them on my timeline.
Unsubscribe and unfollow notifications are massive energy suckers. Repeat after me: ENERGY. SUCKERS. These blasted notifications are unnecessary and shouldn’t be something that has the potential to ruin your day. People move on from blog to blog and from person to person on social media. It’s living the fast lane that is the digital world. If you do that as well, then it’s only natural that people who follow you may one day decide not to. There’s really no need to know who has unfollowed you.
When it comes to this, ignorance is bliss. Celebrate the fact that the number of people following you far outweigh those who stopped. Don’t get bogged down by all the silly unsubscribe/who unfollowed me notifications. There are more important things to worry about; who unfollowed you isn’t one of them.
As harsh as it is, it’s really ONLY social media. There’s an actual REAL life beyond this comprised of REAL humans who would love to connect PROPERLY.
I struggled initially because I wanted to unfollow a friend. Decided to do it because life is too short to get annoyed by posts he/she has made (and thus appearing on my feed). Meh. No regrets. 😛
I once spoke to a friend about this and she admitted to subscribing to friends’ blogs and following certain people on social media out of guilt. She wasn’t the only one. I follow several people out of guilt too. I know them via the blog and I know them in real life. The sad thing is, while I still like the person in real life, their online content has become something I no longer have any interest in. Can you like a person IRL and yet still dislike what they’re like online?
I understand what it’s like taking social media more seriously than we should, especially when a lot of what we do are online. For me, I work from home and human interaction is something I don’t have. Social media helps a great deal. But there’s taking social media seriously and taking it too seriously. All that “I need to know who unfollowed me” business is just a major energy sucker and I don’t have the effort for it.
It’s a pretty natural response. I do that especially on Instagram. I am irked by those who follow me to get their numbers and then unfollow me soon after I follow. I most definitely unfollow them. As for following others out of obligations, well, that has happened too…sometimes. I have also unfollowed people who don’t take an interest in my feed after awhile. But I find my behavior on Instagram very different from other platforms. I don’t really care who follows me on FB, Pinterst or Twitter. Though I have unfollowed some on Twitter but it’s cos I wasn’t so keen to see their private convos with others swarming my timeline or multiple feeds on stuff that don’t interest me. However, it doesn’t mean I don’t like them. As a matter of fact, I usually check back on their accounts when I can get to it.
My take about social media is, don’t take everything personally. I mostly don’t care about unsubscribes and unfollows. It doesn’t take away anything that I value.
Oh how I detest those who follow on Instagram just to get a follow back and then they unfollow you immediately. I must admit that someone I know in person did that to me and my knee-jerk response was UNFOLLOW!! I found out when I went back to check my feed for a comment left and then somehow it was missing and I realised she has unfollowed me. I ended up not unfollowing her because I do enjoy her photos and I really can’t be arsed to get all huffy and puffy just because she pulled that crap on me.
I like how you said it doesn’t take away anything that you value. That’s a good statement. Boy, it used to bug me so much when someone I know unsubscribed from my blog. It took me a while to step back and think clearly, hey I do the same for other blogs whose bloggers I personally know too.
I do have the unsubscribe notification on my mailchimp. It doesn’t sadden me anymore… Ok who am I kidding, of course I do get sad when someone unsubs but I know now, it’s ok. It’s ok because they could be moving on from what I’m writing, or maybe have downloaded my full ebook (because it’s bloody free). But that’s still ok. Or they might just be following me on my other channels – who knows.
And I do have that other thing to track who my new followers and unfollowers are on Instagram, but I have no idea why I bother really. Might just delete that. Although one good thing DID happen because I found out one of my cousins unfollowed me through that and because of some stupid, childish reason!!
Norlin, really, you don’t need that grief. Turn the unsubscribe notification off and get rid of that unfollower tracker thing. It’s absolutely fine to know who followed you but there’s no need to know who unfollowed you. In this case, practise the almighty technique of IGNORANCE IS BLISS. Ohmmmmm…
In all of this remember the line in all breakups: “It’s not you, it’s me”.
The same way that couples that are initially enamoured by each other, with time, interests change and diverge. Before kids I loved reading running blogs, but now they seem to just mock my inactivity.
I awoke one day, and was shocked by my reflection. I was desperate to erase the last decade of wanton sun exposure and serendipitously fell upon your blog. Something in your writing resonated with me and I found myself looking forward to your daily musings of all things feminine.
For every unfollower, “there are many more fish in the sea”.
I love your comment, Catherine. Unfollows on social media is somewhat like a breakup; hey it’s not you, it’s me. Although I must admit that there are many times, it’s “it’s not me, it’s you”. 😛
PS: Aww thanks for reading my blog. So glad you enjoy it! 🙂
I’m with you ~ ignorance is bliss !
M.
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I know right? Why the need to know who unfollowed you? It just stings, especially if it’s a friend.
I think there’s no need to feel hurt about someone unsubscribing from a mailing list. 🙂 For example, I simply don’t like newsletters in my inbox, doesn’t matter who they come from. So even though I subscribed to a few newsletters out of curiosity, I ended up unsubscribing pretty fast.
However, I must admit I am totally guilty of having an “who unfollowed me” app. Also because of curiosity, I guess. :/
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Yeah me too. I subscribe slow but unsubscribe fast. 😛 It stings though, when it’s ex-followers who followed you for years and you have a rapport with them, and then out of the blue the notification came that they unfollowed you. I had that happen to me a few times and it affected me more than I thought it would because I couldn’t help but think “what did I do wrong?”, even though it could be that they’re just not interested anymore and that’s fine. Silly ego.