I’ve been reading Marie Claire USA for about 3 years now. Even though most of my preferred beauty and fashion stories are now on blogs, it’s one of the few magazines I still read each month.
There’s a particular segment the magazine does every month and it’s called What I Love About Me. Marie Claire goes from state to state photographing random women to be featured on the segment. What I love about it is that these women tell you what they love about themselves.
A Caucasion woman might tell you she loves her nose that comes from her mother’s side. An African-American woman might tell you she loves her curly hair. An Asian woman might tell you she loves her hands. A plus-sized woman might tell you she loves her curves. The list goes on and on.
It’s not easy telling another person what they love about themselves. My Asian upbringing will bore you with heaps of self-deprecating stories. Accepting compliments graciously is something that took me years to learn. In fact, I’m still learning to just say thank you and not go “nah, it’s not that good. I’m terrible at this-and-that”.
It’s so much easier to nitpick at things we don’t like about ourselves than to appreciate what we have. I can pull at least 10 things I don’t like about myself out of my hat than to share with you just one thing I love about me. I can’t stand my frizzy, unmanageable hair. I have an awfully big nose. I have chicken skin on my arms. I have a flabby stomach. I have massive calves. I don’t like this. I can’t stand that. Know what I mean?
So today, I’d like to break that self-deprecating nonsense. It’s not narcissism or self-praise when you’ve been disliking so many things about yourself and just wanting to find ONE thing about yourself that you love.
As for me, yes I do have a big nose (thanks Dad! :P). I have chicken skin arms as well (thanks again Dad). Flabby stomach, yes (well thanks a lot TINE!). But I do love my eyes. I like the shape, I like that they’re quite big with double eyelids and I like that they can smile even when my mouth doesn’t. I like that I have quite thick brows that I don’t have to frequently draw in. As frizzy as my hair is, when it’s finally tamed, I like that it looks nice and swishy. For all that, I have my parents to thank. 🙂
Over to you. I’d like you to name at least one thing you love about yourself. It can be physical attribute or a talent you have. Tell me one thing you love about yourself.
Go! 🙂
My dislike list can go on for like forever 😛 But what I do like?
1. My skin now – it’s so hard to get it to a point where I can walk out without any foundation or tinted moisturiser but it’s there now. Thankfully I haven’t got much pigmentation so I’m savouring while it lasts. And each time someone compliments me that my skin really isn’t reflecting my true 30-something age, I ACCEPT IT GRACEFULLY BECAUSE IT WON’T LAST FOREVER!
2. My eyes. Thankfully, I’ve got rather big eyes, double eye lids and relatively long lashes which allow me to get away with no mascara (slacker!) They can be expressive but they give off deadly stares as well when I can’t find the words to express how mad I am. 😀
3. My hair. Raven black, thick (blessing and a curse in summer) and a slight wave/bounce. I do take it for granted and use whatever shampoo/conditioner I have on hand but a quick brush gets it to shine.
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Hahahah it’s imperative that one has expressive enough eyes to do the deathly stare. “If looks could kill, you’d be a dead bird” sorta thing. I’m still trying to master that one without looking a bit cross-eyed 😛
I forgot to mention: My personality – sense of humour and sarky nature. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I’m happy being who I am and the ones who matter to me accept me for who I am. 😀
I have a big nose too! And a soft bridge that I can flatten. LOL 🙂 Oh, and flabby stomach thanks to 2 pregnancies. Can’t seem to get rid of that skin, along of 20 pounds excess weight. I have double jointed fingers so I hurt myself easily, but I can do cool party tricks.
I definitely agree with you on… “nah, it’s not that good. I’m terrible at this-and-that”. It’s an Asian thing for sure. There needs to be moderation though. There’s a difference between being confident and being annoyingly egotistic.
So to answer your question, I love…
My prominent dimple
My perfect pitch
My flexibility (ahem!)
Happy New Year!
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Flexibility?! Of course you’ll have to explain now! 😀
It really must be a part of Asian families, I am exactly the same way. I find it difficult to take a compliment, and typically take “I love your hair” and reply with “oh thanks… It’s very long an annoying, trust me”. Why I feel the need to self depreciate I have no idea, it’s a compliment after all!
What I love about me? Hmm. I’d have to say my brain and my hands. Silly I know, and not really looks related, but I value my creativity so much I don’t know who I’d be without it. Take everything else, just not that! Lol.
And I guess my eyes are pretty cool too lol. 🙂
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Thanks for sharing Kaye! Your eyes are gorgeous. I find them stunning in all of your FOTD posts. Oh, and don’t forget your photography skills!
Tine, permission to nick this please! 😀 What I like about myself is:-
1. Hair with volume. All natural so I don’t have to faff about with too much product or volumizing stuff. Just wash and go, and most hairstyles work.
2. My Smile. When I was little, I was quite a sour puss and I remember an aunt telling me that I should smile more because it made me look better. I recently had a total stranger tell me they liked my smile. It was such a pleasant surprise that I was totally taken aback. It just doesn’t happen here you know.
3. Eyes. Unlike you and Geek, I don’t have big eyes. I have the traditional Chinese long almond shaped eyes that I’ve grown to appreciate.
4. Self-acceptance. I’ve come to accept myself as I am, flaws, perfections (ahem!) and all 😀
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Aww thanks for sharing Peebs. I love that you can get away with short hair. Makes it so much easier to maintain. I’ve tried that before (grew up with that for so many years in fact), and my hair just can’t do it. Think Chinese Afro 😛
No. 4 is spot on.
PS: As for nicking this, gunalah tanpa was was 😛
I love your eyes too tine! the potential of puppy eyes!
I can’t think of anything i like about myself now *er hem* do post this back in a year’s time, by then i might have something to write about
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Excuse me, hello, how about your creativity and talent with your hands to make jewellery? Or your mad skill in looking completely innocent but being absolutely devious at the same time? (it’s a compliment, by the way, LOVE that about you) 😉
It’s a totes Asian thing. It is like a pillar of negativity. Why you so fat, why you didn’t score 100% only 98%. No I don’t look young, you look younger, no you are skinnier. I have learnt to stop it (I hope) and just say yes thank you now.
There’s not much I absolutely dislike about myself these days. Dude talk about self esteem. I will start with my hands and nails. I didn’t realise and I thought everyone had hands like mine. Beauty and nail blogs tell me otherwise. There! There’s one positive thing I’m sharing here.
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No other culture does self-deprecation better than the Asians, I think. I got all of what you said and more. Sigh.
Haha yes you do have enviable hands. Very long, slender and non-sausagey 😛
Aw Tine, you totally forgotten your talent in making lovely jewelleries! I am so envious of that! Can’t do nuts ahahah.
Asian families does exactly that to you, and they start really early, like when you are a kid. I guess the then parents think it’s a way to motivate us kids to push harder, to do better, to be better or to look better or whatever, as long as you be better than everyone else that your parents know and they can bask in your glory. But usually you still aren’t the best for them (most of the time) and you keep pushing yourself to match their expectations, and then you get a burn out…Okay, it’s a vicious cycle, i think you know how it works.
i still have not come to terms of liking myself as a whole, nor can i tell you what i like about myself, and i still do things (unknowingly) to justify myself, some sort of explaining myself to people when i no need to.
maybe when 2013 comes to an end i’ll see if I liked myself any better or not?
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Aww thanks very much for the compliment, Plue. I have my mother’s creative genes to thank for that. That woman can do wonders with her hands (her 3D paper art and Chinese watercolour works are absolutely stunning). I’ll be very happy if I even have half her talent.
It is a vicious cycle indeed, and a painful one. I know as parents, they want their children to excel and never settle for mediocrity but all that self-deprecation just seems like false modesty to me. It stinks that we have difficulty accepting compliments because it’s not something we grew up with. It’s still immensely hard for me to say thank you without adding something bad (and often irrelevant) about myself after that.
You’re sweet, Plue. And a lovely person at that. You quietly encourage and motivate. And I’m sure people appreciate you for that. Trust me, those traits are highly needed in today’s society 🙂
I need to love myself more! I’m so so so guilty of nitpicking at my flaws (real and otherwise perceived) that I forget about what’s good. 🙂
In no particular order, I like:
– my skin (when it’s eczema free)
– my eyes
– my hands (even though the lack of ready made jewellery for tiny wrists and fingers drive me nuts)
– my feet
– my sense of humor (not everyone would agree on this one!)
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You have lovely, non-sausagey hands that look great when posing with nail polish on. DAMNIT. 😛 And I do think you have gorgeous eyes too 😉
I resonate the Asian upbringing part, we’re so good in compliment tango! Well, I love my eyes – I think they’re pretty almond shaped with double eye lid and quite symmetry in size. Erm, can I please add more two loves of myself? 🙂 I love my long, straight and natural brown hair. Finally I love my height but then it’s a show stopper when it comes to high heels shopping, that’s when I envy the petite girls.
It’s very interesting to read comments from Asian readers because I didn’t think most of us grew up in that sort of self-deprecating environment. Oh, and that compliment tango thing? I find that highly amusing now (growing up, probably not. When mum would compliment a friend’s kid who’s around my age, I’d be like oi what about me? Silently, of course :P).
Oooh how tall are you? I’d love to be at least 5’9″. 6″ would be awesome. I saw woman at the shops the other day, she’s easily 6″ AND she wore high heels. Didn’t really look at her face much but I thought the height + heels was just super, super hot 😀
I love your eyes and your whole face in general Tine as you look like someone I can give my ATM password to! LOL Someone I can really trust even if I haven’t met you IRL! 😀
But yeah, let’s talk about me! LOL well same as most girls above, I have a long list of what I do not like about myself but I’m thankful for my slim legs (thanks mom!) No matter how fat I got years ago, It was all on the upper part down to my butt none on the legs! Now that I’m pregnant, may legs are staying the same! LOL I may look like a Popsicle ice cream but hey! at least the legs are still ok! LOL
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*shooting your expressive eye rays so that you give me your ATM password* 😛
You, my dear, have one of the loveliest smiles I’ve seen. And I’ve never even seen you in person. Beacon of positivity, I tell ya. Keep it up. You’ll have ME giving you my ATM password soon enough 😉
I love this post! Things I love about myself are:
1. My lips – they are pouty and rosebud-like – and my kids inherited these from me! Oh, and they are kissable too! This makes me get away with not wearing lipstick. 🙂
2. My expressive eyes – or so I’ve been told. Love my double eyelids and naturally long eyelashes.
3. My optimism – the ability to look at the bright side of things when everything seems negative.
4. My singing. 🙂
Can I please use this brilliant idea on my blog? 🙂
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Ooooooh huzzah on the kissable lips! Lucky husband of yours 😉 Double eyelids and long lashes make putting eye makeup on a dream. And one day, I’d love to be able to hear you sing 🙂
Hahaha go ahead and nick away!
I had to think a lot about this. I like my sense of humor and my lets-call-it wittiness, but they are not always understood.
As Nikki, I have slim legs no matter what happens with the rest of my body. And I have an interesting décolettage, compensating the fact that I was born waistless. 🙂
Have a great 2013, Tine!
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It’s always good to have a sense of humour and wittiness. And I’m sure the people who matter most to you will get yours 🙂
Oooh huzzah for slim legs and a great décolettage. *wolf whistle* Hee hee 😉
Happy new year to you too, Cé!
I’ve come to appreciate my dimples, since they came from my mom. I also like my hair, it’s healthy and shiny and I hardly do a thing to it. Finally, I love my brain. It’s my sexiest feature!
Dimples are a godsend, that’s what I always say! And I absolutely loved how you said your brain is your sexiest feature. YOU GO GIRL! 😀
I love my lashes, they are large and naturally curled, that has gave lots of compliments since I was a child; also I love my curly hair, in another time I didn’t appreciate them but now I don’t change them for nothing (well only sometimes with flat iron). Last but not less important I love my not very usual skin color (medium tan with yellow undertones).
I like your smile Tine 😉
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Aww thanks Efrain. Oooh you have eyelashes a girl would kill to have. Short stumpy Asian lashes, not so much 😛
Yes but sometimes it’s uncomfortable when they ask me: “do you curl your lashes?”. And for your lashes why don’t you try a lash serum; I have a question is comfortable to have straight lashes? It’s a doubt I’ve always had.
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Err, well, my lashes are short but they aren’t straight. They do have a tiny bit of curl in them. So I’m afraid I don’t know what dead straight lashes are like. Usually Asians who have straight lashes have them short as well, so I don’t think they’ll, er, poke the eye or anything 😛
So inspiring. I love your eyes and smile (like what all of the others have said). =D Oh, and you definitely look good with glasses. I don’t. T_T
I love my eyes too! Many people have told me they like my eyes also. haha. Mine is that kind that gets mistaken for almond eyes. Oh, and they tilt slightly upwards. Love my double eyelids, despite it being tapered. (But my eyes are small, and too wide apart.)
I love my lips too, and prominent cheek bones, really helps to structure and shape the face a lot. (But my face is kind of wide… haha, I am going into self-depreciating mode.)
I love that I am medium-sized, instead of skinny or petite. I may be a little meaty, but it gives great shape to the clothes. My friends always wonder how I make a simple dress so not simple at all. I want to wear clothes, not hang clothes, so it’s nice that I always fill up the clothes just nice.
Being medium size also means I can make myself tall instantly. haha, I always give people the illusion that I am tall because I love my heels, yet I can downsize when I need to look smaller by changing to flats.
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Aww thanks Jyoan. You definitely have gorgeous eyes and yes they do tilt slightly upwards!
Medium-sized is good. Clothes need meat to fill it out. You’re absolutely right; you want to wear the clothes, and not be the hanger. Oooh good one! Permission to quote you please 😛
Another blame on Asian upbringing, I used to hate everything about me because I was criticized about everything and not just my looks. I planned to have plastic surgeries when I grow up, but as I grow older (and too chicken to go under the knives) I’ve learned to love some of the things about me, mostly thanks for moving to Australia and getting complements for things I used to hate. Really proves their view of beauty are so different from ours!
1. My thick hair – used to hate how unmanageable they are. It was until I moved to Australia I keep getting compliments when I go to get haircuts that they love my thick hair. I’ll treasure what I’m blessed with.
2. My lips – as a kid was teased that I’ll eat so much make my future husband go broke (you know the chinese saying?) I don’t think they’re perfectly shaped but I have enough space to wear lipsticks.
3. My hands and fingers – They were being teased as short and fat as kid I used to hate them. It was until my adult life I learned that they are quite nicely shaped. The skin on my hands are even better than skin on my face!
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You are so right. Really, moving to Australia has changed my outlook on my physical attributes. In Asia, you would never hear a stranger telling you you look good, or that dress you’re wearing is pretty etc unless it’s from a pervy uncle 😛
OMG I’m with you on #1! In Malaysia, when I go for haircuts, all I get is “your hair is too thick! You really should get it straightened” Over here, it’s “your hair is so thick! I love it! Wish mine was so thick too”. Just a few changes in the words makes such a difference.
I actually love my big eyes with double eye lid very much!! *wink*
Hahaha that’s good Michelle! No taping of lids to create the double eyelid effect for you 😛
I have double eyelids and yet the makeup artist for my wedding still insisted on taping my eyes up. Looked weird >.<
great post Tine 🙂 I didn’t know its an Asian trait to not accept compliments 😀 but, even I have hard time taking them graciously!!! what I love about myself??? my skin and my smile 🙂 and, even though my hair has its own issues, i love it and yup, i love my eyes because when I am happy they exude all charm which even I can feel 😀 i don’t know if I am making any sense though!!
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Hahaha it makes plenty sense to me! Expressive eyes, now that’s hot 😉
Waheyyyy thanks for the inspiration for me to blog so do permit me to steal your idea 🙂
You say you’ve got frizzy hair? Do tell me what you use to tame those frizzies?
What I like about myself?
Accepting my flaws
1. My eye – I was born with one eye droopy or as some would say lazy eye. Always getting taunted by relatives and morons. I nearly wanted to get it corrected until what my mother said knocked some senses into my head (of course she being the one who gave birth to me should knock some sense into me hehe) why do such a thing when I should be grateful that I am blessed to be able to see the world. So yep, Ive learned to accept my droopy eye in fact if anyone say anything about it or stupidly ask me about it i just either ignore their stupid remarks or just plain bark ‘Are you that downright stupid?’ at them .. i love my eyes, there were days when i used to love playing colors on them.
2. My body – my baby weight is a reminder for me of how much I worked hard to care for that very life I was carrying for 9 months. How I bonded with my daughter through my body and see her move around. The stretch marks are my scars of proudness. I just regret that I never did a belly cast 🙁
Hahaha steal away!
Oh yeah I have frizzy hair all right. I need silicone-y products for the hair to tame it down. Anything by Pantene is good. I use the Skinny Serum by Paul Mitchell to “finish” the hair after I’m run it with a flat iron.
Thanks for sharing with me (and all of us) what you love about yourself. I know what you mean by lazy eye. I have a couple of friends who have them. I say as long as you’re comfortable with it, why change? I’m not going to love them any more if their eyes were perfect nor any less if they had a lazy eye. It’s what counts inside of them. Same thing for you, and I’m glad you love yours 🙂
My mother isn’t Asian, but nothing is ever good enough (except my husband)… and I was never pretty growing up. Big calves (thanks, Dad!) Freckles (thanks Irish ancestors) and a lack of contrast (hair, skin, eyes are all pale).
Now I can appreciate my curly red hair, my porcelain skin, and my relative lack of hairiness. What I don’t like, I can fix with make-up (like those very pale brows).
I’m going to steal this idea for my blog, too! Awesome topic!
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Oooh you just ticked all the boxes I’d love to have – red hair, porcelain skin and lack of hairiness. Hot!
Hahaha feel free to use the topic. Do share the link with us, yeah? 🙂