I received Paula Begoun‘s newsletter in the mail today, and her article on the ten beauty commandments everyone should know had me cracking me up big time. Not just because it was funny, but I nodded vigorously at every “thou shalt not” commandment. Really, how many of us has fallen into the traps below?

*sheepishly raising my hand*

THOU SHALT NOT believe expensive cosmetics are better than inexpensive cosmetics.

THOU SHALT NOT believe there is any such thing as a natural cosmetic (or that natural means better).

THOU SHALT NOT believe in miracle ingredients that can cure skin-care woes.

THOU SHALT NOT covet thy neighbor’s perfect skin (or believe her perfect skin came from a particular product or cosmetics line; skin is more complicated than that).

THOU SHALT NOT believe everything a cosmetics salesperson tells you.

THOU SHALT NOT believe in the existence of wrinkle-eliminating, firming, toning, lifting, or filling-in creams, lotions, or masks that can permanently erase wrinkles. Aging skin can become firmer and more resistant to future signs of aging with the right products, but even those aren’t going to get rid of wrinkles or replace what cosmetic surgery or cosmetic corrective procedures can do.

THOU SHALT NOT be seduced by every new promotion, new product, or new product line that the cosmetics industry creates. (slap that “sucker” sticker on my forehead, for I fall for this every time)

THOU SHALT NOT get a tan; sun is your enemy, not your friend; it is the primary reason that skin wrinkles and develops skin cancer (and it isn’t just about getting a sunburn—turning the skin brown is equally as damaging when done on a regular basis).

THOU SHALT NOT buy a cellulite cream, nor shalt thou assume it’s possible to dissolve fat from the outside in, because you absolutely cannot. If these products worked, who would have cellulite?

THOU SHALT NOT see pictures of pubescent, anorexic models (who spend two hours getting their hair and makeup done and another two hours posing while the photographer and a corps of assistants determine the most flattering lighting, after which the resulting picture goes through a battery of digitally enhanced touch-ups and adjustments) and believe you will get the same (or even similar) results from using the products being advertised. That is, unless you happen to be pubescent, anorexic, and a model and can somehow stay in the right lighting all the time.

I would also like to add the following:

THOU SHALT NOT forget to keep simple items like makeup brushes, hair brushes, combs, shower caps, shower sponge/mesh clean. There’s nothing ickier than slapping bacteria onto your skin.

THOU SHALT NOT believe that a 1 hour facial session at your favourite beautician’s will miraculously remove eye bags, wrinkles, etc. SImply enjoy the relaxing and pampering session without expectations that those problem areas will disappear for good.

THOU SHALT NOT share makeup with anyone else. Unless you spritz your makeup applicators (e.g. makeup brushes, sponge applicators, etc) with a brush cleaner or rubbing alcohol everytime you dip into makeup.

What about you? Is there anything you’d like to add to the list? What are your “thou shalt nots”?